So What
by Recklis
Summary: People have opinions, but so does Steve.


**Hi...This is my very first attempt at fanfic so please go easy on me. All mistakes are my own :)**

 **So What**

So what if he was a little bit selfish at times? He was certainly entitled to a little selfishness. He had, after all, spent most of his life protecting and looking out for others. So if he had to choose to say no, why should anyone fault him and call it 'selfish'? I mean…that morning swim, or jog…that was supposed to be his time, right?

Rude? So what if his words sometimes left his mouth harshly. People had no filter when they said something to him to begin with. He was expected to just understand that they meant no harm, but he was only human, even though sometimes he didn't act like it. They always assumed he was a few steps behind, when in reality, he was already ahead.

Obnoxious? Seriously, who wasn't at some time or the other? With the types of jobs they did, it was a given, that some days being obnoxious actually worked.

Miserly…? Well, when the possibility of early retirement is staring you in the face every damned day because of said job…Okay, he did pay, sometimes. Sometimes he really was short. Buying parts for a vintage really did knock back dollars on the pay check. That, and replacing clothes. Yep, dude went through more clothes than normal people did.

Control freak? Oh hell yeah! That one, there was no denying. Because with the line of work he came from to the line of work he found himself in, there wasn't much to argue against. If you knew the man, you'd know it was his way of making sure he was doing everything in his power to keep those around him safe. Also…if things didn't work out in the end…he had no one to blame but himself.

Reckless? If you saw it and understood the reason for it…there would be no question as to why…he did have the 'rather me than you' attitude, so if running into bullets or flying off buildings or ramming headlong into people and driving like a maniac got the job done, then what was the problem, really?

Which brings us to….

Self sacrificing…? On the head, that one. If he wasn't controlling, or trying to control a situation, by being miserly and hogging all the danger, by being obnoxious when it came to listening to your advice, because seriously, why would he want you to get hurt in his place, and rude, for telling you off when you question his judgement, and yeah…if you would call him selfish, because he'd rather die himself than watch anything happen to those he loved, then so be it. That's what he was….

If he was selfish, it was to keep you alive. And rude, because it was a cover for the niceness that oozed out of him that usually landed him in a mess.

Obnoxious, because what man didn't have to defend his every action or tone, or facial reaction when his eyes were and open book.

Miserly, when he chose to keep to himself all his feelings of hurt and regret, pain and self -loathing because he didn't really want to bother you with his problems, knowing full well that you have enough of your own to deal with already. Knowing that half of his time serving would never be actually acknowledged and that you would never be able to wholly understand the classified why behind it. Knowing too, that at the end of the day, he'd gotten the job done and kept you alive as best as he could and that things could have gone awry, but hadn't, and his relief too, would be misunderstood.

Control freak, because he chose to handle the situation as best as he could with his keen awareness and knowledge of things you would never have dreamed of doing when put on the spot.

And self -sacrificing, because if it was the last thing he'd do, it would be to sit back and watch something he could prevent from happening unfold right in front of his eyes without batting an eyelash.

Then yes…He's all of the above. _Twice_.

So you'll bitch and moan, and tear into his hide and secretly admire that the man had the balls to be all of that and still be himself.

It's who he is, what he's trained to be, and what he lives for. So what if you call him out on it? He'll deny it and carry on, pretending it didn't hurt, even though it was because of him that you had the chance to see another day to…yeah, bitch and moan.

And in the end, you'll still love him for it, because it that, that makes him your best friend, and a powerful leader for his team.


End file.
